Food, glorious food

This appeared in Wednesday’s Herald. I thought I’d put it here as well:

It’s the food
We send a reporter to the fair with $20 to spend on food — and he comes back with change

SANFORD — Everyone has their own favorite part of the fair — some people like the rides, others like the games, and some enjoy the feeling of fall setting in.
I like the food.
Funnel cakes. Sausages. Burgers. Cotton candy. Fried items of just about any variety.
It’s safe to say that, generally speaking, food kind of makes the world go around for a guy like me. So my approach to the Lee Regional Fair isn’t much different. I’m basically there to eat.
And what eating it was. I went to the fair Tuesday night along with photographer Brooke Wolfe and a crips $20 bill in my pocket. My assignment? Eat, and then write about what I ate.
So that’s what I did.
I decided to start with something basic, so after arriving around 5 p.m., I walked over to the Lions Club kitchen and ordered a cheeseburger, fries and a soda. It cost me $6.
That greasy fair-food taste hit me right away — you really can’t find a burger that tastes like that any other time of the year. It must have something to do with the atmosphere. I made quick work of the meal (with some help from Brooke) and started thinking about what was going to be next. I decided to go with something sweet and found a booth sponsored by Grace Christian School selling orangeade. I forked over the $2.50 and drained the cup pretty quickly. Orangeade is one of those treats that you don’t see too often, and I don’t know why. It’s awesome and as easy to make as anything else.
But something funny was happening by this time. I started getting full. Full! There was a time in my life when I was able to spend $20 on food at the fair and not even be close to full. And here I was having spent $8.50 on a couple of drinks — and my body was telling me to stop!
No, sir. I had an assignment to finish.
So without any regard for how my insides would react, I ordered some buttery, salted corn on the cob ($2.50) and some dessert, an order of fried banana pudding ($4).
As I gnawed at the corn, which was roasted perfectly, I started to feel a little dizzy. I soldiered on, downing two pieces of the fried pudding — they were little nuggets full of the pudding, topped off with powdered sugar — and then did something I rarely do. I stopped eating. I brought what was left of the food with me back to work.
I’d only spent $15.
So I’d failed in my mission to put $20 into eating at the fair, and I hadn’t even gotten around to popcorn, nachos, funnel cakes or chili cheese fries. I guess it’s just too much to tackle in one day.
But I have $5 still burning a hole in my pocket and the fair lasts until Sunday.
Maybe I’ll try again.